I am Ophelia

"Fear it, Ophelia fear it, my dear sister,
And keep you in the rear of your affection,
Out of the shot and danger of desire."

Laertes to Ophelia. Hamlet, act 1 scene 3

Every woman has loved and suffered and lost. Some women, more than others, carry the weight of failed relationships on their shoulders - not because they were relationships that failed, but because more often than not they were love that was lost.

Someone once asked me if I considered myself a feminist because I thought women were better than men. I remember giving an elaborate answer at the time, but not entirely believing it myself.

Women are women. Comparing genders because we happen to be carved out of the same wood is a shamelessly shallow exercise.

In my opinion, Ophelia, my favourite female Shakespearean character, is the embodiment of the pureness every woman carries in her heart.

A woman can have a solid, successful career built with hard work and competence. A woman can be the maker of her own destiny. She can make her own decisions, she can steer her own life as she thinks best and never need anyone to hold her hand along the way. We are all capable of that.

An independent woman can be a single mother who raises a child, sometimes two, three, all by herself. She can divorce because she is unhappy and never let her marital status be held against her.

A real woman can distinguish between thinking she needs help and knowing when she needs it.

The fact that women are cursed and blessed with the sweetness of Ophelia does not change their ability to succeed alone.

However, a woman's heart is a delicate emotional ecosystem which can trouble her whole life at the slightest sign of imbalance.

In Shakespeare's tragedy, Ophelia is courted by Hamlet - he believes he loves her. Hamlet, taken so violently by the urge to vindicate his father's death and his mother's and uncle's betrayal, makes Ophelia believe he has lost his mind.

At the height of his lunacy, he humiliates Ophelia by making sexual remarks and belittling her feelings for him. She cannot understand the sudden change. She cannot see beyond his madness. She loses her mind.

Men and women are different beings. Women are not dependent on nor are they better or worse than men. They are simply different. They should be allowed to be what they are.

Suffering for a lost love or for broken promises does not infer weakness. Suffering because one cannot understand what drives a sudden change of heart is what some women do. Because they feel. Because they are women. They are Ophelia.

Still, women achieve great things and those men who fail to understand we are entitled to be treated fairly and with respect in all spheres of life are likely to be the same ones capable of breaking a woman's delicate heart.

In Hamlet, Ophelia sadly commits suicide, unable to cope with his indifference and apparent disdain.

Every time a woman's heart is broken, she also dies a little inside. However, the fact that we carry on - we always carry on - is irrefutable evidence of how strong we are.